OK, you can find anything on the Internet. For those who are just as confused as me, here's the answer to how Sarah Hughes beat Michelle Kwan in the scoring of the long program.

If anyone really fully understands Olympic figure skating scoring, please let me know. I am still completely confused as to the following scenario:

1) Sarah Hughes is fourth in short program. She is number one in the long program.
2) Michelle Kwan skates. She is first in short program. She scores worse (I think), than Sarah on the long program, but when the scores are combined, she is ranked ordinally above Sarah.
3) Irina Slutskaya skates. She was second in the short program. This is where it gets real fuzzy. She scores better than Michelle Kwan in the short program, but not as good as Sarah. However, the long and short combined score for Sarah and Irina is the same, so Sarah wins because she scored higher in the long program.

Meanwhile, somehow in all this Michelle Kwan loses her number 1 ordinal ranking and drops to third?

OK, and another thing. When scoring Irina Slutskaya, the judges apparently have to collude on the score in order to guarantee that the tie will occur so that Sarah gets the gold? If they don't, then it is a stunningly unlikely outcome?

Oh help, please help me on this one.

Now you will hear a tale of poop. I did not know that it was possible for a human to shoot a stream of liquid poop from the, er, well, butt, and have it come out like the stream of liquid that comes out of a water fountain. I know now, that it is not only possible, but, in fact, quite spectacular in a special sort of way. It's even more spectacular if you happen to be standing in front of said stream, as was I yesterday afternoon when Katherine showed me this new trick. A few loads of laundry and many tempo wipes later, and I am mostly recovered, however, I have learned an extremely valuable lesson.

Never, and I mean NEVER, EVER stand in the line of fire of a baby when you are changing it.